Since I totally fell off the blogging train, I thought we should probably catch up a bit.
I haven’t been blogging, instagraming or even designing lately. Basically I've been super unmotivated and uninspired. I'm still struggling with the loss of Bosco. I've dealt with loss before, and you learn that grief doesn't really go away. It just gets pushed to the background. You learn to move on and keep living life, but then it just hits you all over again. Now I don't want to sound overly dramatic, like I'm just curled up in a ball, crying all day long. It's just a roller coaster of emotions. Most days are pretty good and then there are moments of sadness that sneak up out of nowhere. We've even been talking about getting another pup. On one hand, it feels like a betrayal, like we're forgetting about Bosco. And on the other hand, I want another pup to feel the same love we gave him and we want that loving feeling a dog adds to a home, something that we desperately miss.....
Also, the comparison bug took a big bite and it's been really hard to shake. Between loosing followers, not getting as many likes, envying everyone else's magazine-worthy homes and seeing other small shops blossom, I just can't stop comparing. When I re-launched this blog and shop, I had all this motivation. Then life got in the way and threw us some curve-balls. It pretty much took the wind out of my sails and lost all the motivation I had. And I know instagram is just a highlight reel (I'm guilty of it too!). So whenever I start to feel that way, it's better just to disconnect and delete accounts that feel too pushy/don't bring you joy. If you stay on that path of comparison and jealousy too long, it only makes you feel worse.
And can we talk about the weather for a moment? I don't know about you, but the weather plays a serious roll in my mood. It's been overly gloomy, rainy, chilly and it really dampens my spirits. This might be the slowest start to Spring since we moved here and I'm not happy about it. That's one of the pluses of living in the South! I'm so much for active, motivated and happy when the sun is shining and the windows are open! Hurry up Mother Nature, we all need some vitamin D in our lives! haha
Sorry for the rambling.... but it feels good to get it off my chest!
So what have you been up too? Anything exciting?
Feel free to vent about something too! haha
Join the conversation!
I got caught up in the Instagram following/likes too. When Piri passed a bunch left. When Bartles passed, more did. Part of the reason why I created a new account for a little bit was because I hated seeing followers leave and so I left them. But then I thought.. wait.. that's my space. Why did I leave? If they want to leave then they should just leave. My likes are so low compared to how it was before but I am just now learning to not let that bother me. A few weeks ago I literally got an app that helped me delete ghost followers because the inflated number just kept getting to me. I think I got rid of like 3,000 people. The thing that helped was that I started to realize that Instagram changed a lot. People who use Instagram changed a lot. There is just so much information out there that it's hard for people to concentrate. But I also noticed that people still do. And that made me forget about the likes and followers. Being in a funk is ok, I think. It's tough though.... for me, sometimes it felt like I was going to be in this funk, then non funk, funk, then non funk period for a long time. Or that perhaps this was going to be my life now. Just a bunch of ups and downs. After Piri left it just really felt like that. But life starts to find a new groove.. one that meshes the old with the new. I try so hard to make sure that Piri and Bartles is somehow still included in our life and maybe that's why it took so long for me to find my ground again but I am thankful I did. I hope your space and ground feels more and more familiar again for you real soon. Thinking of you! Sorry for babbling! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the comparison game and have been feeling it to, but take less time to scroll and more time unplugging to recharge your soul and creativity. Accounts that make you feel jealous or not good enough, unfollow. Not like there is anything wrong with them personally, but just follow those that inspire and lift you up. Your work is so beautiful and you have something special and unique to share with the world. Don't lose that spark! <3
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm sure Bosco would love if you adopted another pup. You have so much love to give! Thinking of you.
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